Sunday, October 24, 2004
The sudden onset of intense anxiety, characterized by feelings of intense fear and apprehension and accompanied by palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, and trembling. Also called anxiety attack. Dateline is here! soon! this is mayB the first programming project i did till so nerve racking and entirely on my own.. yes, i did consult help. but *bang wall* sir always wan me to think.. and its alot of logic thinking! alot.. tonnes.. weigh my words.. come on, i had enough.

*scram off* edgy at this moment.. doin the presentation now.. ae.. i meant, the ppt slides.. manx, i'm just bragging. teach me people, out there who are programmers.. how do u present programming project to people? huh? show them my codes? i guess i would have knock down many listening.. end up all nodding their heads in approval to sleeping.. [get it?] i'm suppose to make it as impressive as possible.. alright, i had nothing to lose. God's problem.. =)

MSN nick is 'I wan to be a mighty duck' hahaa.. guess not many people know about this duckie story.. =) let me share it.. learnt it from pastor prince. it relates, reali.. as least for me, now.
Why duck? ok, let's recall how duck float on water in those documentary shows? they seems so calm, so cool.. [coolness] and relax on water.. ya? u seldom see them afriad not able to stay afloat.. but ever wonder wad's happening off the screen? underwater? their legs are paddling hard to keep the duck afloat and going.. that's wad i wanna be.. be a duck.. a graceful duck, at the exterior.. calm and ready-to-go.. not defeating.. but deep down, i know i'm doin my best to keep this body going.. amen.. beautiful illustration huh? sometimes i wonder.. will i ermx.. not make it for FYP? well, tianfu said.. " sweeter is failure when u know u had done ur best, at least u tried.. than failin not trying' something like this.. =) i felt... aww, make sense, and this sentence reali touched me.. =) aint God good? =)

i know after all this ahhh.. burying times in lab, i would be off.. and i would be enjoying life again.. duno am i stress or wad? kept binge.. can one time dun eat anything, just plain not-hungry.. or just turn into some greedy, ravening appetite.. bad.. had supper for 2 days.. when cant get wad i wan on the stopid program, tend to walk to kitchen.. and chocolate time.. anti-depressant pill.. hahaa.. but once in mouth, it gets addicted.. choc, bread, grass jelly drink, loads of bread.. *tight-fist* i'm such a floury addict.. alrighty. pen off time.. =) anyway people.. no matter how anxious or wadever feeling.. i'm still His child.. and all things work for my good.. i'm not being optimistic.. but surely, all the days of my life.. God will satisfy.. People, Jesus is real.. His empty tomb is still there.. that's evidence that he lives.. amen..

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Psalm 86:11 NIV
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart