Thursday, June 30, 2005
something happen and it spoils my mood for the morning.. shucks, it affected me till when i was resting in my yoga posture. hate that. suck to the core...

i'm aching all over right now.. had my physical assessment, and kinda proud of myself for achieving the results. (:

well, i failed one component. the flexibility test! sianx, i knew i cant do for that, my bones are too rigid to even bent another centimeter.. sad.

went for yoga class today.. i tell u, its torturing.
but nonetheless, i enjoy. throughly! the people are all 'aiyo, aiyo' it did send smiles on my face, cux my company are all middle age. and seeing them doin, makes me wanna smile. i mind u, they're better than me.. they can actually put their legs behind their heads, they're simply awesome. simply. i guess i got to attend more yoga class. though this is my 2nd class, cant do many of the postures.. *perserve*

got myself 2 boxes of kiwis! (: yeah~ simply love them now.. one small knuckle from them boost those anti-oxidants and stuffs.. i guess i'm getting a little health freak. i know for it for myself that i am.. keke.

darling wont be bookin out this weekend, cux of his rifle training. sound so cool right? (: he must be havin fun and stuffs with his friends. hearing him sayin his life in army was so funny. about their exercises and songs.. *chuckles*

next week is my sec sch gathering, and i'm lookin forward. keke. once in a while, gathering meant a little more than everything else. (: i hope more will turn up! the more the merrier~ the wholesome laughter and burpes. awww...

Sunday, June 26, 2005
i'm feeling ok. no fever, yet flu and headace persist. thankful enough i'm fever free... mite be my friuts diet that helps.

hubby should be falling in at pasir ris now.. heading to tekong. he lost wt, and i'm proud of him.. he's so contended with his little biceps that are emergin. i guess, hardwork do pays off. i've been through. i understands..

was reading thru the 'Life' section of Stratis Time today. oh my god! Olinda did lose wt, and excessively... how i wish i'm like her. *frown* but i should adapt the Irene Ang's attitude.. be shapely and not skinny. hmmm.. in any words.. i do envy her new body. did i mention envy? oh shucks.. i shouldnt have..

i was pretty touched by wad vincent had said and sms me just now, about how he assured me that i will be provided for, in the future and so on. i really love this boy till bits.. i appreciate him, and all his little doings. he's just so different, or should i say special, from others. maybe he's mine. thats why. *grinx*

*chuckles* guess i'm typing away how blissful i was.

feel like eating Jurong East Chicken Porridge now.

Saturday, June 25, 2005
wasnt feeling well for the past 2 days.. had the sponge brain feeling and stuffs.. yesh, sick.

read a couple of emails earlier on.. din know there's a tim sum buffet at china sqaure (: yeah~ i'm coming i'm coming! but i got to remind myself... i'm on a diet. well........

stc is having a gathering soon! and jolly well, i'm goin. to dwell into the past again. to see working adults again.. its a time to be seasoned with laughter and memories... anticipating...

i'm just wondering is my period coming.. i'm havin all the before period symptoms.. being wanting to eat snacks.. had control myself till i did wrong things during work.. my mind are all thinking of... 'hello panda', 'oreo', and stuffs. and this persist even when i reached home! when i thought the craving will stop by than.. i snuggle in my bed watching my show.. my mind went.... 'tidbits... tidbits...' arghh.. i succumb to all this calling, and joyfully ate those tidbits (in the middle of the night)how weak, i was thinking. i wished and i prayed and i hoped... it will end all soon.. no more temptation..

'when tempatation calls, its when ur heart takes a fall'

rememebered this in my sec composition, and score a fairly well high marks. cux of that sentence. (: alright, i'm air headed again.

alright.. shall end with this.. feelin terrible when i reached home everytime even though home should be where the heart lies.

Being offended is a choice.
Others can't offend you - you choose to be offended.

and guess wad. i'm feeling sad. i just read, my clinque in sec sch.. they went out together. without me. well... i guess. my friends that remembered me as friends are chun and char. ya.. this sadness, will be over soon. i knew it long ago.

Monday, June 20, 2005
today is supposed to be 'the-love-letter-day'? oh.. i din know such a day exist.. heard it from 98.7fm when i was gym-ing. [is there such a word?] nah~

heard a couples of poems or love statements on 98.7, some are really catchy.. thought of memorising it and write it on blog, and of course. dedicate to hubby. but i guess, 80% was already forgotten. shucks. well.. anyways.... Happy Love Letter Day (not the chinese new yr love letter) *cHuCkles*

am now in office. supposed to be downloading my Pri 4 Curriculum.. but my eyes are a little way off.. kinda tired. had a fitful sleep last night again! felt like i was in a sauna or something. argh.. there goes my beauty sleep.

drink more water, that is.. keep urself hydrated. i had gallons of soya bean milk. since its complimentary from the fitness center. so why not? hahaha.. here comes the singaporean spirit~ drank to my filled stomach. not feelin negative.. cux its reduced sugar. alright.. cut it off... i guess i must have bored some of u.. literally.

ok ok.. shall do wad i'm supposed to.

to those that are attached.. mayb, since today is the love letter day.. er.. just wrtie something to that special one. (: they would feel appreciated.

to those who are busy working... take some time off.. enjoy. the life goodness.

to those that are enjoying singlehood... even enjoy! its ur life~ live to the fullest. smile babe and hunks...

love u guys!

Sunday, June 19, 2005
splendid... i spent my weekends so.. splendid.

i was lookin forward these days way back 2 weeks ago. and i enjoyed throughly every single bits. i realised i really love Vincent alot. He has shed some weight. His voice has changed.. and he kept coughing..

though the weeks that had past was hard to cope. i reminded myself. i have to wait. i have to wait..

i promise to hubby that i will be a good girl. and i wont be doin any of those sorts. dun bother to ask 'wad sorts'. dun get me to that stage again. i'm out. and i'm not goin back. gonna gear my mind back to gym, kickboxing, yoga, steps, aerobics. believe me.

as usual. had my fullest meal over at hubby's place. His place is always heaven. somewhere auntie would shower me with food. (: blessed huh? diet seems to be always chuck aside when i'm at his place... keke.. well, as wad my secondary sch fwens say..'dun worry.. u already have vincent' true. settling with him. content.

our 4yrs is approaching. 21st June 2001 was our year. 21st June is our anniversary.

Friday, June 17, 2005
the heart and mind are in conflict. such a dreamer.

intones dispassionately* must not compare myself to others... must not compare myself to others... must not compare myself to others...

ahhh. i get it. sometimes i try, unknowingly, to be perfect. while i acknowledge the fact that no one is perfect, everyone is unique in their own ways, everyone's lives have their own kind of highlights, etcetc [insert more cliches]... that doesn't mean it's an excuse to be contented with life as it is, is it?

i feel incredibly lonely. so detached from the real world... everything seems to be dysfunctionin well...

i hate it when reality slaps me in the face.

and to make things even better, i'm sure no one knows what i'm talking about because i don't know what i'm talking about now. ah yesss. to make things even better, i know that i shouldn't be running away from problems.

oh, btw, what incited this entry? thinking way too much. about what's going to happen. about what has happened. about what i've done (or lack thereof) to cause it to happen. about what i've done (or lack thereof) to keep it from happening.

hate confrontations.

But the sad truth is that if you don't confront an issue, you'd remain being oppressed by stupidity that engulfs and suffocates and turns you stupid too.

actions pays.

woke up super earli.. had a fitful sleep. scaring myself up..

was watching 'lost' yesterday on channel 5. well.. the farmer man says... 'everyone deserves a second beginning' to kate. this sentence strucks me. even when kate wans to have a second beginning, the others have already taken a second look on her. a look of distrust and fear. sometimes, thinking kills.

2 more weeks. all i can is hope and pray. and i know... prayers changes thing holding and keeping the faith on wed, was something i hang on tight. 'all of the humans can leave and not be with me.. but God is still there with me... He'll Nerver leave nor forsake me' even the world does so...

such teachings which has instilled in me.. kept me warm. allowing myself to feel better that.. God is still in ToTal Control. i believe and still believing.

Many of my friends are havin their 21st birthday soon...
Sheila -7June
Jeslyn -19June
Brownie -3rd Sept
Aiping -8Sept

have yet to get presents. for those approaching and past. how bad. *shake head*

Thursday, June 16, 2005
thought that working life would be a better path for me.

this month's not a good month for me at all.
shattered. terror. the walls of my self-defence came tumbling down during yest's trial. meant to be a happy occasion. but to my own folly. it went haywired wrong. tragically wrong. i have no guts to say and no guts to confess. after all, i guess.. i'm a failure. in wadever. as i said. my self defence walls are gone.

all i need is a second chance. i have instilled in myself, that i wil not let this happen ever again. i repeat. ever. not in this life time. i hurt my loved ones. and i am not doing this ever again.

i'm sorry. from the bottom of my heart. heartfull of apologies.

this month's sucks. people. keep me in ur prayers. i seek.

Monday, June 13, 2005
monday.. feeling blue... proud of myself that i'm able to drag myself to gym despite the weather to be so tempting so snuggle back in bed...thoughts of 'should-i-go?' or 'should-i-not-go?' went past many times..... i make a deal out of myself..in the end. back to treadmile...

did only a 45mins workout. not much though.. just received a sms from vincent that he's not feeling well... i was feeling.... bad.. he must have suffered a great deal. so poor thing.. but i bet(not to mention), he's enjoying hisself there..

alright.. i'm supposed to be tallying the sales.. and head to bank.. not blogging..

oh.. i like my layout.. spooky isnt it?

keep smiling.. i love u! but i love my brownie more... (:

Sunday, June 12, 2005
no no no no... plain bored.

Oh yeah. The time difference is making it quite difficult for me to catch up with people in Singapore. Bleaaahhh.. cooped up in office.

the only breather time.. would be.. sleeping?
(: grinx. my leg is hurting.. thanks to the heels. they're gorgeous.. not to mention they kill too. nah. its ok. for the sake of beauty... bleahx.

i'm aching, i'm sleepy. i'm feeling troubled. but i know all wil come to an good end. good ending...

thinking where can i bring those kids on wed. hmm.. after my steps class.. to movies with them? since its my cousin's birthday. why not? (: sure to post some pics up. its been so long my narcist character show up.. its time. when i shed those extras kilos off.. am i obsessed? i guess so. since i'm in it for 5 yrs. shudup....

note to self:
don't judge others by your own standards.

time has past..
1 week. and i have not seen hubby. but he's making the effort to call me everyday.

time was rather well spent. as in. exercise. yes, i'm back to it. kickboxing. steps. yoga. keke..

i'm giving a try. and i think i'm enjoying. sculpting. (:

june hols are here.. and it means.. alot more work to be done.. kids are everywhere in center.. and listen to their small talks are some how or another.. lighthearted.
because of the merging of subjects.... our centers are all working hard. filing. just imagine, that near to 700 students in pri. searching. and filing. wasnt easy. i spent the whole entire day just doing that. shuckx. backache.

had guava apple and orange for dinner. er.... yes, though i'm losing or trying to lose wt. i hope i'll succeed. to count back. i start this regime when i was way back in sec 5. 4/5 yes back? i guess... and i come to conclude....

dieting is a woman's lifelong occupation.
(dun smirk if u are born with the body people envy.. *grin*)

darling will be back this weekend and i am just waiting.. anticipating slowli... i miss him. ):

Sunday, June 05, 2005

mother A: are all ur teachers qualify?
admin B: not to worry. all our teachers are NIE trained. and are ex-teachers.
mother A: aiyah.. dun tell me that. i got a shock out of my life when i discover ur teachers are lousy..

how it drives me to nerves.. that's the quest they asked.. yet refuse to listen to the answers that are accurate and true. well.. shrugx. its life.

vincent has been in army for 2 days? he called me everyday.. (: i'm feeling kinda blissful in here. warm feeling just kinda surge in me. well. he's trying his best to lose wt. same here.

took part in the amore fitness center. planning to go sweating for a new body! hee..
hard to believe? but i hope i can pull thru. spent so much in it. not wanting to waste it.

kickboxing was a real treat. its steps are catchy. so not to worry not able to catch up. i'm just waiting for tues.. where the class wil be on.. cant wait..

somehow.. i dun realy feel like bloggin.. i miss eating starburst. and i guess the little jasmine too. (:

Thursday, June 02, 2005
tomoro's the day vincent is goin in for a fit training... had been spending days with him. nonetheless.. i was thinking am i ready without him by my side.. after all.. i have always been relying on him.. and.. well.. its a matter of fact. i wil have to cope.

looking forward for amore!