Wednesday, November 30, 2005

have just changed the outlook of my blog again. not that i got nothing better to do. just feel like changin. kinda bad outlook though. the words are not very ease reading. well, i know. it aint flattering.

hubby is now sleeping. and we just ate our lunch. he was playing his new toy - PS2 and i am doin up new look. hubby is now complaning that i keep using his comp to do my office work. check my emails and stuffs. i tried to abstain already~ well, to no avail. apparently.

was very anxious about our 1st ever powerUp course.. hee.. wondering how is it. wanted to hear the feedback and stuffs.

just got my pay but i paid back 500bucks into our account.. my fault, use our ac to purchase my specs and contact lenses. gotta save for our tv now. i promise!

tomoro's work day is only qianwen and myself. andi have no idea why did she give a student 2 hrs clinic with seeking approval.. i dun think she gives a damn asking too. and she has the guts to ask for early confirmation. ermx, sometimes... well, as the saying goes.... patience is a virtue. and i chose to believe. cux i am waiting too~ hahaha...

yeah~ whole day hubby is goin to be with me. but he's sleeping and snoring. hmm. i wan to cook for him. but wad can i cook.. whip up something healthy and greenie. keke...

till now, i am really envious of Regina high metabolism rate. she eats so much yet she is not a least plump. how good. no exercise yet her body is consider fantabulous. hai. dream on~ ivy. u gotta do it the hard way~ no choice.

its ok. i shall go search for recipes now. hmmm...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005
today's my off day.. and today's my company major even going on.. wonder how is it goin.. hopefully its good news.

went to my cousin's place and get her P6 sch textbks with her. intending to visit grandpa at the later afternoon. who knows.. there's a long Q at the bookshop. hence all plans delayed and .... called grandpa and he sound sad that i cant make it to visit him. i feel bad everytime i have no time. i tried my best not to make distance an excuse. but time was another factor too.

these days at work had been more than full-fillin. though regina is in charge of the center, but she's still a newbie in the center, it seems that i am over in charge still. i dun really like the feeling. many a times i tried to help her. but she din helped herself. when its time to accounts submission. i think she will slogged till she's dead lo. hai~

last fri was terrible, one parent mother came up screamin at regina. regina had apparently told her wrong information when she double and triple checked with her. the class had been re-scheduled to 7-9 and yet she had the audacity to say its 6-8. the mother was so mad that she wanted to speak to the management and din believe she was the in charge. well, one cool thing happen is that i manage to calm that parent down. i know her son long ago, and we had a little talk.. about how her son has been bullied in sch. --my opinion.. mother is too protective of the son.. too much of something is always no good. well..

i am now reading my 2nd book of Dans Brown. manx, he's damn good.. his plot always send another twist. finsihed Angels and Demons and now i'm reading the famous 'Da Vinci Code' Channel NewsAsia did have a show saying how true this book is relating. the holy blood and the holy grail. well.. the most funny thing that i heard is... Mary Magdalene had some sort of sexual relationship with Jesus? and the last supper picture did have a woman being pictured in it. so how true? no idea.. Last supper was a picture saying the last dinner Jesus had with his 12 disciple. and apparently, there's a woman being pictured inside. hmm.. interesting? i am now together with Robert Langdon into his quest in finding the secret code of Sophie's grandfather. Mona Lisa? left a woman, right a man? well...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005
my grandpa got admitted to hosp again. and i am feeling so worried about his condition upon hearing the news while working. i couldnt get another urgent leave off. and the next day is another important meeting day.

will be going to visit him later. just called up the hosp to check on the visitation hrs, well.. they claim my grandpa is KIV goin home today. so? do i still go CGH to see him? or see him at home?

goin over to Meiling's place to coach her tuition. oh man, she din pass well, and her marks aint flattering at all.. she din wan to accept my tuition in the 1st place, guess she went through a truama when i teach her in previous yrs. come on~ i am not that frightening. this girl just dun do her homework. not that i delibrately enjoy being played as devil.

watched exorcist 'THe POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS U' was wad really instilled in me after watching the show. i watched 2 different season of show. and the 1st one was still more...... disgusting. as usual. i did scream and hide behind the cushion while Vincent tried to act macho and had the look of 'i-am-not-scared'. stupid him.. he tried to scare me! he sat at his kitchen stool, cover his head with his white towel, and just sit there staring at me.. it did scare me out of my wits! ran over and slap hard on his arms.. and he happily laugh, laugh.. saddist.

i have a new colleague on board with me. Shirley has being promoted and being transferred to the other block. Regina on board! she's quite new and not very customised to our style of working.. well, i feel that..... nvm, keep my comments to myself.. just a thought. we will be working happily together. how can we not be? she just stays at my block! how near and how far it can goes~

oh company meeting was yesterday and i won the 'Best Sales Performing Center' WoOoHoO!!!! yeah! so happy. for the 1st time i worked for 7months! its mine! hee.. i got the lowest churn rate as compared to other centers! well, our tutors still have a say and stand here.keke.. i believed, if i open up new classes, sure months of best sales is still ours.. its not just hope, its working through reality.. keke..

alright, i gotta eat my breakfast.
online early cux i wanted to call up CGH and check on my grandpa's condition. glad that he's able to be discharge. (:

Tuesday, November 08, 2005
i am sick for the couple of days already.. since last friday? i really drag myself to work though i am not in my tip top form. well, sunday is the day i cant hold on. took a half day leave and was urge by my superiors to go home.

was given 3 days rest~ woOhoO.. anyway, tues and wed are my official off days. so? no use also, i'm off during my off days. arGh. its ok.. i came back earli today~
slept awhile during the noon, till Shirley called me and claim that my P2 class got problem. shrugx, i'm drowsy after medication. nothing actually drills into me at that moment. think i kept quiet and 'ah ah' all the way. cant blame me! i'm not conscience enough to think!

wed, i'm going to cook again for darling. he actually count how many times i cooked for him since he got enlisted. well, not difficult to count also, 1 time onli. *grin.
can sense that he is really anticipating it. he had already list down the stuffs he wanted to eat~ haha..
i think food binds us together. er, food binds all of us together~ trying to save money and get stuffs, and get out of here! only darling understands my plight, and he know wad shit i went through. after all these yrs, i'm tired.. i still continue to praise Him for placing vincent into my life. no more setbacks and intruders...
darling is having guard duty today. poor thing. cant sleep, but he damn smart, change with a idiot who faked mc, and the guy who faked is takin vincent's duty instead, and that is on Friday! yeah~ sometimes, u gotta be smart in taking mc. my darling's smart! keke... i shall reward him by my cooking! (as if i cooked that well)

tomoro i'm goin to visit grandpa, though i am sick, but i dunwan to face someone at home.. wil head home straight after visiting. think i will cooked some porridge for myself and settle.. yeah~ ginger, fishy, meaty, and a wholesome stuffs... *drool

i cant seems to have the motivation to lose weight anymore, i practically have to write a note on my phone standby note to remind myself to lose weight! how bad can this be happening? back in stc, i just had the zap and click i go, diet till i satisfy kind. now? guess, the older i get, the more i wan to satisfy my stomach? but Mdm Tham claimed that its normal when students goes into working environment. faced with work stress, naturally, sweets and snacks will somehow ease the stress.. and no doubt, my work is a high stress area. my colleague can work till no time to arrange her hair. me too~ i'm beginning to hack how i look. this is bad lah! when i walked down the aisle of shopping cneter, i realise how crap i look..

its ok. i am still ivy. the one vincent loves is enough. people might think i'm childish, thinking, vincent is the whole world to me. u guys are right! i can live without anything, anybody. but i cant live without him. i'm grown more than attached to this relationship. cant wait for the family we are buiding. slowli and steady. (: dear agree?

meow meow..

Thursday, November 03, 2005



the phone i'm eyeing..




the horn i'm desire..



the flute i'm yearning...



scores, i'm missing...

i miss and want these things.

was browsing thru friendster.. glad to see that many of my friends have blossoms, and one of my band junior finally turn straight. (: though not in contact, i hope the best for her, i used to loved her till bits as she irritates me non stop. we had wonderful memories together... maybe being crooked doesnt mean anyone fault, its just a pitfall, the fall that most of us had fallen before~

i used to write to this crooked friends, who's still a bunk. these lines still store vividly in my mind. "Both sweet and sour, your angst stems from your sexuality; more specifically, your homosexuality. Maybe you're not yet sure and you're worrying and trying to find out more about yourself, or maybe you're pretty sure but still have trouble coming to terms with it and being honest with yourself. Maybe you haven't told anyone, or maybe you have and people aren't taking it well. It's sad that such a thing can still have potential for some of the worst angst there is, but as long as you stay confident and positive, you can get through anything. By nature, you and your angst are unseparable, but that doesn't mean you have to let it weigh you down or consider it something other than part of who you are. Remember that you are your own person and that nothing can change that."

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Wednesday, November 02, 2005
i went on a shopping spree today with hubby.
gosh.. i promise myself not to splurge anymore this month. but happily i spent a total of $100+. just slash and slash, and happy i go. its ok.

my 'home' wardrobe is bursting, and i dun have enough hangers and space to put in anymore clothes.. hai.
i'm giving my bag away soon. thats just too many.. giving them to my little cousins, who's P6 next year. hope it will come in handy. most of them are new. pretty new.

i have another wish list item on my wish list.. (:
a couple of somes though.
1) Sony Ericsson W900i phone.. aww..
2) Sony PlayStation 2. yeah~
3) a new TV for hubby and myself
4) a dvd player
5) a new wardrobe
6) a pair of contact lens
7) spectacles!
8) braun buffel bag.

this should be all!aint that much right? hai.
so much more. work hard! to earn payrise~ keke.
maybe i should show u ... my desire phone..






this should be all~ tara~

Tuesday, November 01, 2005
was lookin forward for this week.

public holiday! i'm glad i'm well alive after yesterday war in office.
Shirley and i slogged till 11pm, and we cant get our report balance. ArGhh.. i have no idea why, and we cant care much but pack bag and head home.. it was the 1st time i head home with Shirley too.

strange experience though.
i think i asked some stupid question to Shirley, asking if i could be release early on Monday.. her ans was.. somehow, make me feel wierd. she say its better not, will affect appraisal. come on~ well, i just kept my mouth shut. before anything can be written or drilled into her head.

i sense some office politics when i spoke to shirley about work. after all, above all the smiles she had been smiling.. there seems to be something bad hidden underneath. well, bad? i learnt from her, that i will not do something similar to wad she's doin. *hopefully

these days, my darling has been a little cranky. even auntie(his mum) cant stand him.
he's on my nerves these days.. disturbing me when i'm dead tired. waking me up when i'm stil in lala land. and biting and pinching me when i'm watching tv. he dun speak to me in human language, he kept meow-ing to me. well, this is wad i love him. and ilove him to bits. i'm glad i have him that i can called belong to. Thanks Vincent, for every little things, thought, move u have made. i'm fortunate.

oh meow meow?