Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Losing weight was my life long commitment.

realise the past tense.

Was.

well, i am still trying though. just less the effort compared to my yesteryears.
:( supper was a strict no-no. used to. now, i seem to look forward for supper.. oh manx, why did it all happen. :( i can just shift my mind into a not guilty state and wallop anything i deem delicious.. bad set thinking. i blame it on the thought of work stress..

Regina's my superior and yet i feel she's very dependent on me. she kept asking me to do things when the slightest, she doesnt do. :( she doesnt like to ans phone calls. she can order those new stuffs to ans within 5rings, and yet she cant set a good example.

oh well, i'm whining here. i am. cux i cant find anyone else to whine. i whine to Vincent, but i keep telling him the same stuffs. he's encouraging..

i heed his words. i just do my best and sure, my work's recognised. well. i believed that.

appraisal is this coming March, and i get the leak that i will be transferred out to other branches. i dunno should i laugh or cry. laugh if its a point of promotion, cry if i have to re adapt to the wierd surrounding and all. hopefully by the time i leave JE1, Regina is more stable to where things are kept and more dependent on herself. :( i still prefer JE1, the parents and students.

i fall in love with a K2 kid. Name's Delwyn. look forward to see him every Monday. he's the shortest of the 5 kids in the class and he's the only kiddo who wear specs. looks funny when he hold a packet of 200ml Magonolia milk on his tiny hands. he took 15 mins to finish that packet. it will take me only 2 mins. :) well. i love kids! and i am planning to have my first child on age 26? yes darling? when we are more than finanicial stable and all. i wan a boy boy first. :)awwwww

i have already applied a block leave in Feb and cant wait. reason being, its my birthday. well, no more of that fantastic looking forward to it.. i am more blessed when i recalled those yrs on how my birthdays was being celebrated.

In 2001, the whole class of 5J stayed back for recess and hold a birthday bash for me in class. i was ultimate touched and couldnt express my ecstacy. i still keep the card, and upon reading. i do tear too. i look those ladies. even when we gradute, i do still have birthday bashes with them. in gathering at Ms Goh's place, at Jeslyn's reunion steamboat dinner. i have the class with me again. see, blessed isnt it?
though sadly i spent my 21st, i dun dwell on it for that long. content is when i recall those happy moments.

i know many of my ex sch mates birthdays have passed and i have omitted in their 'invitation list' well. in my heart - heartful of Happy Birthday and well wishes. i do not have the guts to sms and call just to say happy birthday. u might have hold it against me.. but. well...

should give myself a bitchslap.

nah. i should be sleeping soon.

after reading my novel. :)

should brush up my english. ;)

Sunday, December 25, 2005
went to play badminton with Vincent and his sister's family. with those little kiddos running ard the court. kinda fun and perspire tonnes. they played really well, i seem rusty. but! i did run ard for the shuttle. :(

played for ard an hour before going to stadium to have my field running... hmm. its been some time since i had my running. bad. but, i feel like goin back to my exercise regime. well, see how.

been very tempted to try many slimming products. colleagues have been trying a medication by the doctor, and Shirley did impressively lost much wt. but question really do arise. is it due to pregnancy? cux she had much water retention. so..... well... Qianwen is now on the medication, and did not show much results. she's seem slow on the medication though. lost some. hmm, should i try?

i gained back quite a few pounds. i hate to shift the blame to my job when i lack of self discipline to educate myself. i succumb to temptation that easily now. i cant resist the calling of choc and snacks. how come? i really need my zest back. be instilled!

yersterday, channel 5 'blessed Christmas' i seen many farmiliar faces on air. Pastor Prince, church choir, Andelline, Angie, and other musician. and Deacons.. and also the BrightStar nursery. i kinda miss pastor's cool hallow voice. yesterday's show was brought to u bu New Creation Church. such a proud moment for the members. at least we know where our tithe and offering been heading to. we open a NKF outlet at Bukit Panjang using our weekly offering, and also New Creation own Marine Cove. i shant name other church organisation where they emphasize the importance of tithing
yet thery ask memeber to keep tithing in order to be able to build another church which will need tonnes of resources. they should just be content, and not dig deeper into people's pockets for their building fund. well.. i had friends which have shun the church due to massive out reaching for funds. even when my friends do not have enough for themself. it seems, not offering seemed an offence.. *shake head*care for ur members more than caring how much u all received. well.

perhap, i am in no position to speak anything. just some personal feelings..

cant believe i'm supposed to work tomoro when its a public holiday. this kinda feeling sucks. really... its ok.i dun mind slogging, if i see my promotion surfacing. :)

Saturday, December 17, 2005
hey ras and denice. keke, i'm ok already... one word of cautious.. just dun visit doc during the lunch hrs. haaa.. i finally finished all my medication.

this past week has been very fullfilling! i cancel one of my off days and attending meeting. but the meet up kinda saddens me. i though i could clinch the best sales award again, when i had 95 new students under my pri maths. :( not this that is fullfiling..

the fullfilling part~ i bought my cousin and vincent niece to wild wild wet! woOhoO. kinda resembles 'Fantasy Island'. its my time arena. when i mention 'Fantasy Island' they claimed the name's sound awful. ha.. i tried to apply tonnes of sun block on me. i just dunwan to grow anymore tan. i looked like their maid when i bring them around. sad! i did enjoy myself thoroughly and i know for sure, the kids do too. i had so much of screaming and swimming, till i wake up in ache today. this 2 kids can really eat to make me bankrupt. from morning, their waffle and laksa, to their kfc, tidbits and fish bee hoon. cant blame, its their puberty yr.

looking forward to go another time with vincent. (if he has the time) :(

to compare wild wild wet and fantasy island.. hmm.. fantasy island has more thrill. 'double trouble', 'subarushi?' , 'black hole'.. all these. wild wild wet seems catered to younger kids. and i guess its the safety reason so many games are not around anymore.

i had my fun share this time. till i reached home, closed my eyes for my night rest, i can virtually feel the water floating in my head, and the cholrine smell tingle in my skin. aww... sun burn!

any friends, wanna go? tag me along~ keke.e... provided i had time.

entry's wierd. no connection.

ermx

Sunday, December 11, 2005
i lived through a terror day yesterday.
yesterday 10Dec2005, i was admitted to hosp after a neighbourhood doc gave me an overdosage of injection. fainted on the way back to hubby's place.

i was suffering from a very bad rashes when i was working. it starts to itch at around 1pm. i found myself in pain after scratching. went to see a doc ard my workplace. WTF, all of them are closed and wil be reopened after 2pm. the pain was unbearable, asked to be excused from work. and glad that Shirley allowed. reason of not being allowed would be shortage of manpower. but my rashes was that bad that my colleagues somehow shun me aside. well.. i was afraid that its contagious too. went to toilet and i was disgusted that my thighs and hand are all red and blocked with so many rashes. they resembles those liek mossies bite. i was getting panic than.

dialled the cab. the cabby was nice. talked to me so as to divert my attention. the rashes was spreading like hell.
went to the idiot doc. he too was having his lunch. he excused himself to the room and continue to eat. as i was the only patient, i requested if i could get immediate attention. the 'nurse' din wan to do it at first, but i requested again.. in hope they will understand.. anyway.. patient's life comes first than ur bloddy stomach! i asked vincent to come down to clinic by the time. Praise God he's with me.

when i entered, i did apologise that i interrupt his lunch. well, he din ans. asking me and gave me an attitude. i couldnt care less, just tell him how much pain i was in. he gave me a jab, and i was asking wad causes this... his fantastic ans was...'i dunno' and i further ask.. 'should i abstain from eating all seafood?' his ans again.. 'see, i duno wad causes this as well, it gotta be trial and error. u have to eat again to see if it attacks. it might be some insect bite, or seafood stuffs.' i looked at him in amaze..'trial and error?!' i wouldnt even wan myself to be in this state again! the jab he gave claimed that will make me sleep after 30mins. ok, i heed his words and head back home though my stomach was grumbling for food.

before i hit 10mins, reaching the void deck with hubby.. i was already feeling very bad. my vision started to blurred and there i go. i concuss. vincent must have slapped my hard.. i began to regain alittle conscious. i had lots of flashbacks. it seem like i was really sleeping. vincnet kept talking to me and bring me to the staircase when i sat down. he called down the ambulance. and i was put on a drip. my blood pressure plunge down. thanks to the overdosage of jab. the ambulance called up the clinic and ask wad medication i was given.. even 2-3 mins, i was given a blood pressure test, and i overheard it was goin down.. my whole body was too weak to do anything. i was like in jelly state. how baD!

i was given numerous injection again as my body is rejecting any stuffs inserted in my mouth. i wanted to vomit by the time. the doc in hosp had no choice but to inject something in me. i had many test. from ECG to check my heart. from oxygen testing? to many more. to blood test. and the doc said that my vein are too small. that's why my blood is taking it own sweet time to flow out. damn. i was given medication and i have to eat 6 medicine just in the morning.. fantastic.

finally i was able to discharge. i was feeling better and my rashes has subsided. the doc who attended to me was a filipino. head back home in cab and i was alittle dizzy. vincent went back the neighbourhood doc and screw the clinic up. demanded a refund from them. it cost me $39 from the bloddy idiot doc and hosp just cost me $70. $39 for the whole faint experience. head to hubby's place and i was sleeping again. yest i practically slept the whole day. i was feeling sleepy all the time.

one hell kind of experience. my left hand is still aching from all the injection. 5 injections! and my vein is bruised. imagine! i am going to write to straits time and complaine! hmm

long entry. but i see how fragil life can be. and i see how i cant live without vincent. he was with me all this while. without him supporting, without his caring. i wouldnt be here now. darling. u are really my precious. though u always wake me up with ur silly songs. i am more than blessed. darling, i love u. so wad if others say about us. it is love that bind us. we do not have to live other people's saying. :)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

my grandpa got admitted to hosp again. the sight of him suffering ache my heart so bad. i had a very bad feeling, of something stuck in my mouth, making my speech so hard to express. the more i wanted to speak, the words seems hard to spoken.

my grandpa is one person i hold so dearly in my heart. i was lying on bed, thinking... those days in kampong. when he wake me up by tickling me with a feather, how he hug me when he bring me to school. he was the one buying crayons for me when i needed for my art lesson. he was the one to teach me how to make glue using home cooking stuffs. how to add an additonal hole for my belt cux i'm growing fatter and fatter... there's just too many things i can list down. now that he's sick and old, its my turn to return my love.

i am not heartless towards my mother though.. u see, it pays to be good. my grandpa prays for me constantly. he holds my hand tightly everytime i see him, and tell me he prayed for me. that was so assuring. i treasure him. not by wad he do, but how he show he loves me. he doesnt have much money on him, but he bought me a gold cross necklace..

i dun ask for much, i just ask that he will be on mother earth happily and healthily. when he hit 80, i will throw a big bash birthday for him. i promised. even if it takes me now to start saving. i will..

friends, pls.. extend ur prayers to my grandpa.