Sunday, October 30, 2005
work load has been adding on piles and tonnes on me.. being the year end, where parents are eager to enroll their kiddos into tuition... i was shocked and in awe when i saw my pending tray full of new registration and well, withdrawal forms as well.. netrual~

well, i was working like a bull yesterday. till i had this very intense pain at the back of my head.. must be the one i knock on the wall, till it somehow scare darling.
it still hurts somehow.. brain scan?

some not so happy stuffs did run along my life.. i find it hard to delegate things to some of my colleagues. i do not know if its the age problem, being the youngest in the company and also a operation in charge, i really need more than myself to clear tonnes of things. but somehow, asking a 35 yr old colleague to help me clear things seem hard. i tried, but ended up.. i'm always doing it all by myself.. i dare not consult to Shirley about this. will it show my incompentency? will it disrupt my work appraisal? many things just zoomed through my thoughts.. well.. lets just wait.

i know some friends have been concern over my well being, and some good friends know wad i'm goin thru those shit in my home.. it did changed me, and i think its better to let them know, i have backslided. and its not anyone's fault. its mine, perhaps.. but i still have Him in me, believing that He's the almighty God. i'm not deceiving myself.. i know it as i sensed him before.. my work had required me to add in more hrs. i know about the one serving God or serving money. i beg to differ. i am now serving no one... being myself supporting myself. i feel proud of my achivement. earning my own school fees when i'm schooling, earning my own pocket money during poly yrs. i've surpassed many of my peers.. i chose to believed.

not to worry about my well being, i'm fine.. and couldnt be better.. i cant seek ur understanding, as i know how it feels to be a friend seeing another friend backsliding yet cant help much. i seek more than just mere understanding, but approve of wad i feel right and good now.. try not to change my mindset, i do not wan anything nasty to happen which will lead to any one of us, unhappy.

or when the limits is up. dun let any of the unwanted things to happen.

well~ things that have been bottling down for so long has been finally off loaded..
ease~

Sunday, October 23, 2005
its been some time since last blogged... arghh. pratically have the extra space to breath during work. upon graduating from Poly, working for an education firm, lead me back to education path. anticipating holidays with the kiddos. their enrichment and stuffs..

working there, i can practically sense... there are really kiasu parents. and ChiNa kids are really SMART! they are the ones that make it for our GEP(Gifted Edu Program) classes! oh man, shame on the comfort of singaporean kids. but somehow, i cant really speak the correct chinese to them. they either dun understand what i'm trying to put across or i will simply ask my colleague how to translate. SAD! hai.

so much so for good things.

had a Zone meeting with all my upper hierachy boss. i'm glad my workload has dropped down. i just realise Shirley has handed me so many things! i am like doin EVERYTHING! from money to the little minor keys inventory. madness. i dunno the reason behind that, but i chose to believe that Shirley is trying to build me up. if i can survive in that pioneer branch, all others branch is chicken feet already.. yeap~

*fingers drumming on table*

my darling is sleeping now. he's been online till wee hours thru the night, playing games. my small boy, curse when other players shoot him, gloat and laugh when he had done his revenge. we have just past our 52nd month. not saying anymore how contented i feel. but i'm glad our path crossed and he's my life now. i now look forward in saving money building our love nest in future. seeing how he play with his 5yr old niece make me feel, ah~

and now, i'm online.. he's sleeping... his sleeping habit ar. later in the afternoon, i go take nap, by the time he will be awake and surf net. see? wierd!

hai, blame on me working on Sat. sad.

feel like cookin something for hubby. hmmm.

Friday, October 07, 2005
same old usual morning.. but today's the 1st day i'm having the early release. on a Friday! keke..

was very very happy when i received Sean sms last night. was simply flabbergasted. keke.. not only am i confirmed being a confirmed staff.. more good things are on my way. so happening. i promised Sean, i will work hard, and pass my Tues test with flying colors. hahahaa.. let's see..

but i'm grateful to this company. though the work load is 'heavenly', as compared to other centers, at least. time pass faster here. (: heheee.. i'm loving it! truly!

k, shall study for my test..

Brownie? meow? we can fulfill our major bank savings! yeah!! dreams do come true! meow meow!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005
after 6 months of probation. i am finally called 'Confirmed Staff' in Just. (: all the little bonuses are on my way! Yee-Har! i was graded a fairly 64% which my boss think its not bad for a green and young me. well, i thought, why not 1% more, make it a more better B3 grade. hahaha..

was having a good talk with Vincent last night regarding my problems. well, he seems to understand or not-so-understand my stand.. it was me that cant utter the word out. some emotion can only be felt and not expressed out in words.

again, its my problems. my damn problem(s).

i wonder wad the heck am i feeling this way. was it pride? was it ego? or was it something i dun even know of. it was tough. to juggle btw conscience and reality.. i told meself to accept back. but the mind is strong, the flesh is weak. i am weak.. in this area. sincerely thanks to one of friend(s) who sms me or emailed me about my well-being.. (bottom of my heart - Thanks!) i din know by a entry or short paragraph in my blog, i would get noticed and get the loved feelin back. but i am not delibrately doin it to gain that. i hope u guys know wad i meant.. thanks and sorry to those i have, in any case, neglected..

life, seems to be troubles these days. feeling better with those kids, and stress is coming up cux the kids are goin to promote to other levels, which means.. more work for me.. more moron parents, more and more and more work. sigh.

another challenge.